Destroy Awkward Silence with Women

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Published: 09th October 2012
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Ah you saw a very hot girl in your field, and you approached at her. She noticed you, and then you 2 engaged in a conversation a bit...out of nowhere you your mind wondered and the conversation stood on a halt and you stood there confused without anything else to say.

This scenario of keeping a conversation going after the introduction is very prominent social dynamics interaction, especially after you get passed all the usual intro-questions, like "What's your name?", "How are you?", "Where are you from?", etc.

Now does this same problem exist when you are talking to your friends and family?

Don't think you're the only who thinks that. The same thing comes to her, and thinks she is a bad conversationalist as well.

How to handle this?

The most common thing to do is to inquire her and just be interested in what she says. The thing is, that is pretty much what all the other guys do, besides avoid the interview route.

Another thing is use storytelling. Storytelling will be the gist of most of most of the conversations, but if you don't possess any stories or relevant stories, I recommend you build up on your stories toolbox to be able to tell at any time. In my magnum opus the Art of Social Natural, I do dwell into a number of storytelling techniques of how you can use just one memorized story to construct up with fresh new stories while still being purposely pertaining to the interaction to tell any time anywhere.

Now I have this powerful strategy I called "obviousation - Saying the Obvious to Neutralize the Awkwardness (S.O.N.A.)."

(Now say it together, "Saying the Obvious to Neutralize the Awkwardness"...awesome :)

This technique works like magic.

This tears down a lot of barrier, just like when you are conversing to your friends and family you don't have these barriers. You remain relax and just speak your mind.

Imagine you and a girl are just talking and abruptly the conversation becomes quiet and there is this moment of awkward silence.

You're thinking this awkward silence is caused by you and that you are a bad conversationalist; however does it cross your mind she is thinking the same thing too?

Simple solution, SONA (Say-the-Obvious-to-Neutralize-this-Awkwardness), just say in a cool joking way something like,

"Huh, have you noticed we're both not great conversationalists? We're both tongued-tied right now? We don't know what to say to each other? You know...I hate when this happens? When 2 people are talking they both become quiet, and automatically they assume they are the one responsible...but they don't realize is that the other person is thinking the same thing, too."

This can even get a laugh from her, the laugh of recognition.

And you two can then discuss a topic about "conversations".

Watch as how she warms up from here, you will progress from feeling like being this stranger to being somebody who she knows in her life.

Also you show confidence here by erasing that same tension and awkwardness she experiences from being quiet, or she will eventually do it for "I need to find my friend".

Ever notice why comedians are skilled at what they do to come out funny? They are ballsy enough to admit the obvious that nobody else is willing to acknowledge, but hey they are comedians and do it in a joking mannerism, allowing them to get away with it.

after that, you can also go into a cold-reading.

After talk about "conversations"", and there creeps again another awkward silence, SONA again.

"So what can we talk about now? I think this time, you're the bad conversationalist." :)

Play and have fun with these silence moments.

After you 2 get passed this, instantly you two will have an insider vibe, and will be more at ease and relaxed and have a better rapport.

The way to depict how this feels is notice the discrepancy in your behavior when you first meet a girl when there is this sort of barrier between you 2 making you both can't entirely relaxed around other each and always be alert to exhibit your best self.

And after you sleep with her, that barrier vanishes and you 2 can become a lot more comfortable not being so alert of how you come off to the other person because you guys have been through a lot, had your uncomfortable moments, shown your flaws and you 2 are both ok with it without judging each other.

Not a lot of guys don't have the balls to do this. What do must guys do? They try to find stuffs to talk about by continuously asking question; however, by willing to admit this obvious, it conveys balls and honesty, and will destroy a lot of superficial barriers and get to her truth self, and you will be seen as unique in her eyes.

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